


You Can Rest Now

by Jimais_Vu



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Cancer, Character Death, Hospitalization, M/M, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 01:41:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29991942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jimais_Vu/pseuds/Jimais_Vu
Summary: "Rest now" is one of the sweetest things you can say to your loved ones. But how can you say it to the love of your life if it means you're giving them permission to fall into eternal resting?
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	You Can Rest Now

They were called inseparable by their classmates and friends.

Meet Yeonjun and Soobin, who had known each other since they were kids, and started dating a year before they started high school. Yeonjun was more of an outgoing and silly person, while Soobin was more quiet and introverted.

They had clashing personalities that broke everyone's doubtful ideas and ended up mashing super well together.

When they were kids, they always sat next to each other at school, played together during recess, and had sleepovers. They usually had them at Yeonjun's house though since Soobin's parents got sick of the other boy constantly telling them that smoking was bad for them.

This one night, they were at Homecoming in their second from last year of high school with all of their friends there with them.

And this was the night that would change their lives forever.

"You're such a simp," San said to his boyfriend who was currently crushing over Sebastian from Black Butler.

"At least he's hotter than you," Wooyoung replied, making them all start bursting out into laughter.

The theme of the dance was "night sky", so of course it was dark with pretty lights everywhere to look like stars. Yeonjun was too busy looking at the decorations that he didn't hear Soobin saying his name.

"Yeonjun, do you want juice?" He asked after finally getting the boy's attention.

"Uh- sure." He smiled and nodded, leading to Soobin standing up and walking away.

He went to the table where there was a bunch of snacks and picked up a cookie to eat it.

"Hey Soobin," a voice said, and he looked to his right to see Jaemin standing there with a small smile on his face. "I didn't know you and Yeonjun were coming here tonight. I thought you guys were staying home or... whatever."

"We were going to but we wanted to hang out with our friends." Jaemin nodded and Soobin stopped eating the cookie to cough a little bit.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Soobin nodded, still coughing a bit. "I'm gonna get Yeonjun and I some juice. You should get Renjun and Jeno and come sit with us."

A little bit later, they were all sitting around the table again, eating snacks and talking about what was going on in their lives.

If Yeonjun was with anyone else, chances are that he probably wouldn't be staring at them with the most loving gaze, hoping to spend his future with them. But him and Soobin had been with each other since the beginning.

They grew up being each other's other halves.

They were each other's first love, first relationship, first date, first kiss, first time...

The two experienced life together, and Yeonjun couldn't wait for them to graduate so he could be with him forever.

He loved him, and Soobin loved him back.

All of a sudden, the music stopped and they all looked at the stage where the student council president was standing.

"Everyone, it's time to announce our Homecoming royalty!" She said excitedly, making everyone start clapping, their hearts racing in anticipation. "The votes were counted, and you guys chose the two students who are loved by everybody. And our Homecoming royalty is..." she opened the envelope she was holding and read the two names. "Choi Soobin and Choi Yeonjun!"

"Wait what?" Soobin asked, wondering if he heard that right when the entire room erupted in screams and clapping.

"Go!" Wooyoung yelled excitedly at the two who were still confused.

Yeonjun grabbed Soobin's hand and pulled him through the crowd of people who were still crushing over their adorable relationship as they walked past.

"Congratulations," the girl said, putting crowns on both of their heads.

Soobin was still in disbelief and stumbled a little bit when Yeonjun kissed him, making everyone somehow start screaming louder, specifically Wooyoung who was taking pictures of them from where him and the others were sitting.

They walked down from the stage and Yeonjun forced Soobin to dance to the slow song that was playing even though the latter didn't really like dancing or anything that required a lot of movement.

"I love you," Yeonjun said, resting his head on Soobin's shoulder.

"I love you too."

It was only a few seconds after he said that that he found himself coughing again, this time harder, and Yeonjun and all of their friends looked concerned.

"Are you okay?" San asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just-" he couldn't finish his sentence before he fainted, Yeonjun luckily being able to catch him before he hit the ground.

"Someone call 911!" He screamed.

***

Soobin had been out for hours now and Yeonjun sat by his bed sleeping as he waited for the test results for an explanation as to what happened.

"Mr. and Mrs. Choi?" He heard a doctor say from just outside the room. He turned in his chair and saw that she was talking to Soobin's parents. "It's very rare in someone as young as him, but I'm afraid that your son... he has lung cancer."

"He what?" His mom asked, holding her hand to her mouth in shock and Yeonjun's heart almost stopped.

"Does he or anyone around him smoke at all?"

"His mother and I both do," his dad said and the doctor sighed.

Yeonjun felt his eyes getting hot and blinked rapidly, looking at Soobin's soft, innocent face that didn't know what his body was going through. He had such a fragile mind and personality that Yeonjun loved so much, wanting nothing more than for Soobin to be happy. He just wanted to take the pain from him and put it onto himself, feeling like he deserved it more because of his rude remarks and cheeky personality.

Soobin was anything but rude though. He was so gentle and caring that it was almost impossible for anyone to ever get mad at him.

"He's had it for too long that it has now grown and there really isn't a cure for it at this stage," the doctor continued, making Yeonjun's tears start finally falling as he leaned over and hugged Soobin tightly. "But chemotherapy can slow down the process and relieve pain and uncomfortable symptoms."

His parents both nodded even though they were crying too. Their son was dying, and it was mainly their fault. They've been smoking since he was really young.

Yeonjun decided not to hate them for it though and walked out of the room to hug them, apologizing for everything that was happening.

*Two months later*

"How long do you think I'm gonna live? I mean the doctor said one to five years." Soobin asked, rubbing Yeonjun's head as the older was cuddling his side.

"I told you we shouldn't talk about that, Soobin."

"Well I hate to break it to you but it's kind of an unavoidable situation."

"I know, but I wanna talk about happier stuff. But for someone as young as you who hasn't really had a lot of health issues, I think you'll be alright."

Soobin sighed and nodded. Yeonjun's super positive attitude was almost overwhelming sometimes to him. He overheard Yeonjun telling their classmates that he knows a miracle is going to happen, but Soobin knows it's already too late.

He wishes his boyfriend would just accept that this is it, but Yeonjun was stubborn. He wasn't someone who would give up without a fight, which is why he was always up Soobin's ass nowadays to make sure he took his medications.

While Yeonjun was asleep the night before, Soobin went into his bathroom to cry. The older was so positive that Soobin would get through this so they could live their lives together. He was so hellbent on saving Soobin that he was almost ignorant to the inevitable future.

*Six months later*

"We call the guest room on the first floor!" Wooyoung yelled, dragging San to it.

They were at a beach house that Soobin's parents rented for them as a way for him to get out and have fun during the summer, and of course his friends decided to join in.

"Let's go swimming!" Jaemin yelled, running outside with his two friends.

"Um..." Soobin chuckled. "What do you wanna-"

"Come on! Let's go swimming with them!" Yeonjun yelled, grabbing his hand and pulling him outside after Woosan already ran out too.

Even though Yeonjun's constant protesting was almost enough for him to give in, Soobin just sat in a chair and watched them have fun. He was too paranoid to do anything that would cause him to run out of breath, so he usually just sat on the sidelines while the others had fun, much to the dismay of Yeonjun.

He was almost too confident that a miracle was going to happen.

A little bit later, it was nighttime and Yeonbin were cuddling in the master bedroom, the older breathing in Soobin's cologne that he absolutely loved like it was a drug.

"Soobin," he whined, climbing on top of him and giving him a small kiss.

"Yeah?"

Yeonjun giggled and kissed him again, this time a little more, but he pulled away after a few seconds. "Please touch me."

"I can't."

"If you don't wanna run out of breath, let me do the work," he whispered, kissing Soobin's neck, trailing them up to his lips where he continued kissing. Soobin finally accepted and grabbed Yeonjun's waist, pulling him closer while their lazy make-out session became a little more heated. "Can I?"

"Yeah."

*Six months later*

Now it was Christmas. And usually they would have a Christmas party at Yeonjun's house, but this time, they just decided to invite their friends again. It was pretty fun. They hung up decorations and watched movies while eating dinner and snacks.

It was obvious that Soobin and Yeonjun were both pretty fond of their friends. They always had them over and somehow never got tired of their antics.

The night was pretty chill. They had quiet Christmas music playing in the background while they just talked and had a good time.

"It's been over a year," Yeonjun whispered to Soobin while smiling. "Maybe it'll be okay."

Soobin nodded. He started having a little bit of hope too since it had lasted longer than he thought it would, but no matter how long it has been, he knew that there was a chance of it happening anytime.

It was terrifying, of course. Knowing that he could die any day, he spent all of his time with Yeonjun. It seemed like the older didn't catch on to why Soobin had been super clingy yet.

If he knew that the reason Soobin was being so lovable was because he felt himself slowly fading away, it's likely that Yeonjun wouldn't be able to handle that information well.

He was always a super emotional person.

"I'm going to use the restroom," Soobin said, patting Yeonjun's thigh before standing up and walking to the bathroom down the hall.

Once he was done washing his hands, he started coughing, worse than he has been lately. He rested his hands on the sink to support himself, but like what happened at Homecoming, he fainted again.

***

Soobin had been on a ventilator for a week now after Christmas. He was in and out of sleep, spending New Year's Eve and day with his friends.

The one thing that he was trying his hardest to do was not look like he was in pain in front of Yeonjun, who visited him a lot.

But even though Yeonjun was oblivious to it, if there was one person who could read Soobin almost as much as his own boyfriend, it was Wooyoung.

"How much pain are you in?" Wooyoung asked, fiddling with Soobin's fingers as he looked around the room filled with balloons and stuffed animals.

"Not that much. It's just really hard to breathe."

Wooyoung nodded. "I searched up side effects of the chemo. Why did you hold on so long if the medication made you miserable? Was it for Yeonjun?"

"Of course. Everything I do is for him. I just ended up giving him false hope though."

Sighing, Wooyoung stood up and grabbed his phone. "I think you should let him know. I think it's best that he knows. Do you want me to go get him?"

Soobin nodded and Wooyoung walked out, Yeonjun walking in a little bit later.

"Hey," he smiled, sitting down in the chair by the bed and grabbing Soobin's hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Not that great. Yeonjun," he whispered his name. "I'm in a lot of pain. It hurts just to fucking breathe, which is the main thing we need to do in order to survive."

"I-I know, but... you've been able to do this for so long. You'll be okay. I know you'll be okay, Soobin." He teared up as he started saying that and squeezed Soobin's hand while looking down.

"Yeonjun, look at me." The boy forced himself to look into Soobin's tired eyes that lost every ounce of hope. "It's been hurting ever since we started treating it. And it's been almost unbearable for the last week, even though I have more medication. I didn't tell you before so you wouldn't worry, but I'm tired of giving you false hope. I'm sorry Love. I'm not going to get better."

Yeonjun burst into tears and leaned over to gently hug him, crying into his shoulder as Soobin rubbed his back soothingly.

A little bit later, Soobin's parents pulled Yeonjun out of the room to talk to him.

"Yeonjun, Soobin told us how much pain he's in," his mother said and Yeonjun nodded, trying his hardest not to start crying again. "We-we want you to decide if we should keep him on the ventilator or... you know."

She was on the verge of tears and Yeonjun looked inside the room, blinking rapidly to try to focus his mind on what was happening.

He was responsible for what happens to Soobin?

He turned around and speed walked down the hall, internally panicking as he thought about it. But all that he could think about was how much he loved Soobin. How much he wanted him to stay here.

Soobin was in pain, and keeping him on life support for a few more days just so Yeonjun could talk to him? That would be so selfish that Yeonjun wouldn't be able to live with himself. 

Stopping at the drinking fountain, he took a drink from it to calm himself down, feeling the tears start falling again as he realized what decision was best for Soobin.

***

Yeonjun was holding Soobin's hand as the younger laid there, looking more worn out than he was yesterday. Yeonjun already told him and his parents what he decided, and Soobin was just thankful that he was able to accept it.

"Did they give you more pain medication?" Yeonjun asked and Soobin nodded. They had given him stuff to make him comfortable and now, him and Yeonjun just sat there together holding hands as they waited.

"I stayed here this long for you," Soobin said quietly, making Yeonjun let out a shaky breath as he teared up again. "I didn't want you to lose hope. I wanted you to be happy, so I kept my suffering to myself this entire time. Thank you for accepting it, Yeonjun."

The boy tried to smile and brought Soobin's hand to his lips to kiss it, holding it there for a while to just feel him.

"Don't be sad, okay? Like you always said, it'll be okay. Go be happy, okay Yeonjun? Promise me that you'll grow up and be happy."

Yeonjun nodded and stood up to kiss Soobin's head just as the nurse walked in.

"Are you ready?"

"Yeah," Soobin said, reaching his arms out for Yeonjun to hug him again. "Please don't let go, Yeonjun. Don't let me die without it being in your arms. I love you."

Somehow, Yeonjun stopped crying enough to whisper, "it was a good fight, my love. Always remember that I love you more than anything in this world. You can rest now."


End file.
